Milo Marathon 2019

First and foremost, I would like to announce that I did not make the cut.

I have Milo Marathon as one of my major running KPI's (key performance indicators - just like how we are gauged at work) as a runner. This is one of the hardest to get since this has a 6hr cut off. My past two races - TBR and Tokyo Marathon had a 5:40-ish finish. So, I thought I was going to finish this with a medal.

Or so, I thought.

I trained the same way I trained for Tokyo. I even logged in more mileage for this. I trained with my cousin whom I pushed to run her first marathon in Milo. Well, I trained for more miles while she did less (but she was faster so I think she only needed the long runs) than I did. I really envy those people who can do less and yet still perform ugh.

Anyway, come race day, I tried pacing with her at the first half. Which I think was totally wrong, she was faster and my legs will not have enough power towards the end if I continue on. So, I let her go on after km 23 (I think). The route had a gruelling downhill and uphill starting Kalayaan flyover to Mckinley which was something I was not prepared of (I thought I was prepared for it but seems my legs could not push through it). This is where I totally slowed down but I still ran through.

I started walking at Bayani Road, the steepest uphill in the race. Then, i run-walked all the way to BGC then again at Buendia avenue. When, I saw that there are already buses to gather the last runners, I really really wanted to hail and ride and just quit this whole thing , I was already feeling that I will not finish this on time. I just got a glimmer of hope when I checked the time and I am still around the time in the distance I wanted/planned to be. When I reached 36th km at 5hr, knew I still had the time to make it even if I walked. I still tried running it. But when I came back to MOA, I thought I only had more than a km to push on, I can still make it. But when I saw that it was longer than I thought. I no longer went through, I knew that I already failed.

I finished the whole Marathon at 6:05. Just 5 mins short of their cut off. I thought I was going to cry at the finish line for not getting the medal, but I am far too tired to feel anything and I was just happy that I finished. Now, writing this I thought also I was going to cry but I remembered the feeling at the finish line and I remembered how I was going to quit it but I didn't. I thought I was going to DNF (did not finish) it again. But I finished. So when I did not get any medal, i told my cousin (who was able to reach the finish line before cut off) that it's okay and I am just happy that it was over (we can already eat, sleep and rest, it's finally over).

Now, I am thinking of making the revenge run for next year. I want to finally cross the barriers of meeting the sub-5 marathon. This is hard for me since I am freaking slow but I am the 100m dash champion in Grade 6 elementary run. I know I have the speed in me, it's just hidden somewhere and I have to tap and let it out.

I have read that I really have to start small in order for me to achieve something big. I have to finish 5km in 30mins and 10k in 60mins. So, I really need to address that first before tackling the big things. I have downloaded some things in the internet and hopefully I can create a training plan for this.

I hope I will not give up on this. I will start after my recovery week. And let's see if this will work. Will post updates here for me to be able to document everything.

Good luck to me. Aja!

The Return of the Comeback

So, hello. I am back.

It's been a while since I wrote something here but let me tell you that I just got back (again) to running. What the hell just happened? Let me try to summarize.

I stopped due to my depression, then, when I got home to our province. I got depressed again because this guy that broke my heart gets to have someone to love, before me (and I am so angry, even with God why did he deserve it? Imma save that for another blog). But, as usual, I thought of running again. Then I did, then magically, I get to run 10k again, straight without stopping. I was amazed that I can still do it. Then the next day, I tried to do it again. Still, I did it. 😁

After that, I returned the habit of running again. Though I did join some races but not major ones and I was walking in some. But, I basically returned and lost some weight. The major thing though that made me commit to return and run races again was my first Abbott World Major Marathon.

Tokyo has always been on my mind eversince I was introduced to animé. I have been dreaming of visiting the city and when I learned that one of the World Majors was in Tokyo, I have put it in my bucket list. I joined, I think twice in the past already, and I got in once but I did not push through because I was going to visit Australia and New Zealand in the same month (my moolah is limited so, I have to choose one). Since I have been running already, I decided to just try it again. I remember registering in the middle of the month (I just remembered that the registration was on the whole month of August, then went to the site and then registered for the lottery) then forgot about it already.

Since I forgot about it already, there have been a seat sale in an airline to Taiwan and I booked it near the date of the marathon itself. Then, a friend was inviting me to join them in their Japan trip on the same month but I declined due to budget reasons. Then come September, I received an email that I got in to Tokyo Marathon 2019. I was happy and scared at the same time. How was I going to pull this off? Two international trips in one month is going to pull off my wits and budget at the same time.

Still, I registered thinking that so many people have already tried out for this and then did not have any luck and here I am wasting an opportunity. So, I registered then followed the Nike Run training plan (not religously though, just the long runs since I still have Aikido to practice as well). I was so afraid of the marathon and the cost of the two trips itself but I still went on because it was already booked.

I followed people running for Tokyo Marathon so that I'll know as to what part of the training should I be, for updates and stuff. Good thing though, a friend introduced me to the Tokyo Marathon 2019 PH group which helped a lot - what not to do, rules and regulations of the race, expo updates, coordination with the PH embassy in Tokyo and tour and meet up dinner after and other stuff. Because of these people, I knew that Tokyo Marathon had a secret cutoff.

So, I knew then Tokyo Marathon was a different ballgame than TBR (The Bull runner marathon whrte I ran my first). While the other had a generous cut off, this one (Tokyo Marathon) had a cutoff every 5kms. In their rule book, it was attainable BUT this is if you start at the same time as the person in the first corral (or if you are fast). There are 12 corrals which are arranged depending on your predicted finish time. I assumed to finish within 6hrs so I was put at the last corral. The PH group advised that it may take a while for the corrals at the back to cross the starting line. And that got me worried. I knew that I am not that fast and I really wanted to get the medal.

I read some blogs and there were some that were cut off at the 30th (some even at 35th km) because they didn't meet the time. I don't want to come all the way from the Philippines to Tokyo just to come home without the medal. So, I trained differently. I banked on the long runs and made sure I have two maintainance runs. Unlike in my TBR days, I was so lazy to do the long runs (I'd even walk in most of then). I ran the Run 711 32k race category just to prepare since this is a month before TM. I was ecstatic finishing it, it was the first time I ran the race without the dragging feeling of the long distance. I looked at the people running their 21k as I was approaching my 26th km and thought, wow I am done with your distance guys. I knew then that I am stronger for Tokyo.

I knew I did this right because come Tokyo race day. I was able to pace myself according to what I have planned. I have planned my times (I will pass 21k in 2:40, then 32k before 4:30) then ran all the way to 38th km (because I peed haha). Even with the cold 5deg temp and rain, I still finished this race stronger. I even beat my personal record by 5mins.

I think I did the training right because after race day. I thought it will be hard for me to go to the airport alone (since Tokyo was all about walks to the station, taxis are too expensive here). But, luckily, I was able to move. I could even climb up and down the stairs with no problem, unlike before that I was on sick leave because I could not move my legs. I came home to Manila safe and sound and with a medal.

So, this gave me the confidence that I can still chase my dreams of running other marathons and races. I can still run and I still have the gift. I have to train to become faster though. Well, let's see.

See you on the road guys. I am so back! 😁

The Wall

Copyrights to the owner of picture

I don't know what happened. This year, I just lost the will to run. I guess I am experiencing "The Wall".

I started this year with a goal - to run the 2016 Tokyo Marathon. The plan was jeopardized when a friend suggested that we go to New Zealand and visit our friends there. I was kind of looking forward to this and then kaput, all gone.

I started the year feeling hopeful, I registered for the Run United Marathon bundle - which means I get to run their three races leading to the Marathon race which is the last leg (starts at 21k on March, then 32k on June then 42k on Oct). Then register on August for Tokyo Marathon. I had them all scheduled out on Jan 2015.

But then, in the middle of these all. It felt like I was pushing myself too hard just to go out there and run. It wasn't as easy as before where I really make time for the run by crook or by hook. This year, I feel tired all the time and my sleep increased (and yeah did I mention, my face bloated too?).

I don't know why I lost the enthusiasm. This Dec, I ran one 4km on the first week, then another 6km on the fourth week - that never happened before.

My guesses are:

1. I wasn't losing weight anymore. I am gaining the weight I just lost and I wanted to stay and not go back to metformin.
2. Metro manila traffic have gone from bad to worst. Yes, I live approx 32kms away from my  work and I feel really really tired all the time.
3. I am not getting any faster. I want to be faster and yet, I don't see any improvements. I know my times can get better, I even joined the Milo Apex but alas. Nothing worked. I envy those people who don't have to do anything and yet they're super fast. Frustrating.

I am writing to get these all out. I am frustrated. Me thinks 2015 is such a bad running year for me, well I hope it ends there. I pray for enthusiasm again and hope that everything gets better from this point on.

Run United 2: Afroman Distance

My first afroman distance or 32k long run. I registered for the Run united 2015 Exceed Full Marathon bundle earlier this year. Meaning, I will run all Run United races this 2015 with distances progressing from 21k, 32k then full marathon on its third race.

"I will run if I didn't back out" - should be the correct term earlier. When I registered, I am positive I can always run any 21km race (road flat races) but anything beyond that, errr.. not sure.

I have ran my first full mary last year but I have a specific training program for first timers that made me survive it. Running on my own training program (or with something I downloaded from the internet) is always a challenge.

Well, I booked this bundle because of this. This inconsistency, this swing of my unmotivated self to run/exercise is something that needs attention. I also have a goal of running the Tokyo Marathon so I really need to step it up. What I am afraid though is giving up or backing out.

I have a history of selling my old race kits due to nontraining. This time, I challenged myself to not to sell it. I haven't trained well for this run. I have one 22.5km run but that was 3 weeks before the event and I did not run long after. I even did not do maintenance runs and only crammed up on the week of the race (Stupid stupid stupid decision).

So lessons are learned the hard way on this race. I was able to run at 8km/hr pace up to 19kms. After that, everything was effed up from the waist down. I have my period, and this was the strongest day flow. It hurt a little so I did not run hard. I was thinking I should be able to still go to work by Monday so I should be careful.

I was able to run-walk up to the 26th but I conceded after the 28th. I was already thinking of my strategy when my aikidoka friend, Ruwen tapped me. Then we walked all the way to the finish.

My foot and calves hurt but I really wasn't that tired. It is obvious that my legs weren't strong for this race and I used my old shoes (I think its' cushion has already worn out). I already bought a new pair but they were heavy. My shins are hurt from using it. I forgot though that the old one also hurt (another stupid moment from me thank you very much).

Even with these angry-self-due-to-stupid-mistakes moment, I am happy to say that I finished. I did not finish on my target time but to look on the positive side, I saw this as an opportunity to train for another race. I registered for Milo Marathon - Manila elims next month. So this the start of it. I really have to train and buy a new pair of shoes.

I was pleased with RunRio races as usual, with enough hydration and bananas and also sponges during the race and nice loot bags after the race. Also, I always find it safe running when I sign up on his races. And this is the only race (in the Philippines, as far as I know) who hosts afroman distance. I am happy that I chose Run United for most of my races. (No kidding!)

I hope I can blog some of my fun runs this year and cheers to all Run United 2 finishers!

Hungduan Rice Terraces Run

Hungduan Rice Terraces

I haven't seen the well known Banaue Rice Terraces. So when a friend suggested we go for the Rice Terraces run, I gave no second thoughts on joining. I said yes right away with a condition of running only the half marathon distance.

So, there were 5 of us (my running friends btw) who registered for the event but only three of us went through. We went for Shuttle's best service to take us to the area and off we went on the dawn of May 16.

This run is one of the most fun and practical run I have ever done. First off, it only costed us 1500php which includes dinner on the night before then breakfast then post run meal. And since we registered early, we also had free accommodations. How cool! We will only be paying for the transportation on our way there (which was more costly than the actual race haha but it's okay, I was after the "runcation").

Banaue finally!

We rode a van all our way to Ifugao, one of Mountain region provinces. I expected the trip to be topsy turvy starting Ifugao, but it came too early, Nueva Vizcaya had lots of road curves. I forgot that the Sierra madre mountains are also in that province and is part of our way to the Ifugao mountains (I am making an explanation because I am a geography freak haha). Anyhoo, I was seated at the driver's passenger side so amongst all passengers inside the van, I got the most sleep (very strategic of me heehee).

Stephen Felices giving us a briefing on how the race will go

Where we stayed, the Hungduan Municipal lodge. Descent and ascent from this area requires major effort (starting line is on the top of the mountain and this is 500m below - go figure)

When we arrived, most of the participants are already there. Some of them got the huts accommodation and we on the other hand got the municipal lodge (wherein I silently thank my friend, Ate Mj for registering us early and making us stay in the lodge accommodation which has toilet and electricity). The way to the lodge is already a challenge as it was situated below (as in you have to go a  downhill slope of about 70deg to get here - again, go figure). But it is okay for me, it is free, it has soft bunk beds with decent bathroom. I am already elated.

This is how I ran the "pilapils". I am afraid of heights and falling so please don't judge

We ate dinner then slept early then ate breakfast then piled to the starting line. As soon as we started, most of the people have already ran but I on the other hand is busy fixing my shoe lace (who chose to be entangled every 10seconds) and fixing my leggings (to prevent chafing - may I add that I hate the fact that my inner legs are in contact with each other.. errggg) on the first kilometer. I was able to settle after two kilometers and jogged all the way thru the Hapao Elementary school where the trail path is supposed to start.

The supposed trail path here is mostly composed of the "pilapils". I honestly don't know what its term in english but if described it is something in the middle of the rice field where people walk to pass. Funny that I wrote "walk" where participants are supposed to run this path. Well, to be honest, I walked when my foot first stepped on one of the pilapils. I got scared because I am afraid of falling, the other side of the rice fields is already a ditch going down.

Shadowfie because I am no longer alone

Upon running I built up a plan, to just walk the rice terraces area and just enjoy. I took pictures along the way and still tried to walk as fast as I can.

As soon as I returned to the road, I slightly ran until the 19th and walked purely on the 20th. The starting line is at the highest point of the area which sucks because we have to run all the way up to return.

With Mr. Stephen Felices at the finish line

Our van mate won first medal! Woohoo!

My goal is to finish before 4hrs. I actually was able to finish it at 3:54m Not bad for me! Woot woot!

I love this race. This is one of the unforgettable run I have ever done. I felt the communal spirit and the race organizer's love for the area. I loved the food btw. It was really something!

Van mates!

Happy to have met new friends along the way. It was fun knowing that my fellow vanmates also love to run outside of metro. I hope to have more runs this year and this is such a refreshing comeback for me. I thank God for this opportunity!

Congrats Team Malaya for a job well done in organizing this race and congratulations to all finishers of this race!

Happy Doggie day

Odin and Doggie run 2015

Me and my dog, Odin registered to join this year's Pet express' Doggie Run. And I know this will be one of his favorite day ever - if he remembers.

My dog loves long walks, travelling (riding vehicles and the likes) and most of all, being with other dogs. When I registered, I imagined him to be super elated for this event.

On the day of the event, I planned to have him commute via ordinary bus then ride a taxi on our way home. We took off at 2am so that there will be less people in the bus. Odin was so behaved inside the bus, honestly, I did not find it hard to tame him. I was afraid that he'll be afraid of the travel (if you did not know, ordinary buses or non-aircon buses at dawn are dangerous for passengers, they normally run at killer speeds and will turn uncautiously), but he wasn't. He observed everyone inside the bus and had half of his body on my lap and half on the seat I paid him to sit on.

Starting line

We reached Mall of Asia earlier than the gun time. I had bags with me so I looked for baggage counter and disappointed that there was none. I was misinformed.

My mistake for this race was bringing a leash that was not too sturdy for the kind of dog that I have. My hand hurt from using it and it was almost destroyed during the run. My dog was eager to go to other dogs and it was hard controlling him using that leash.

When the race started everyone took off and then my dog also started running. I was shocked to see that he actually ran when he saw other dogs run. It seemed like this was his "thing". But I was not able to run all the way because of the stupid bags. Even with this situation, we were able to finish.

Me and doggie at the finish line! Woohoo dream come true for me and dog

Enjoying his first doggie pool experience

Anxious to meet this fella

I did not expect the dog to finish the race running. I saw that he was already tired but still when I urged him to run, he went on. I am proud when we both reached the finish line running. He finished 38th out of 206 dogs! This dog had the chance of going up the ranks if not for my stupid bag! Grrr..

Anyway, after the race we gathered the finisher's loot and then went around for a new leash (which, as of the moment, is already destroyed).

In totality, I am happy for my dog for joining this event. I am happy to have him experience these kinds of things even if it will cost me some bucks. Good thing that Pet Express have this fun run which is literally not half meant on this case.

Congratulations to all doggie and doggie parent who finished this race! Woof woof!

My Marathon Journey (thru pictures)

Okay. Since there are lots of pictures on the TBR event, I am happy to utilize these photos from Photoops.ph. And also to remember everything that has happened on one of my favorite days of my life. :)

Credits to the photographers, Photoops and other sites where I have taken this picture. Sorry I wasn't able to remember all. 

My first kms, were composed of me and Ate Mj running side by side. But I'm too slow, so she went ahead. :)

And then there was this moment where it was cold and it started to drizzle, I tried making myself warm by wearing my facetowel on my face. (Best-decision-ever)

I ran out of GU so I took the last one on the last station before this picture. I am happily eating it, because it gives me lots of energy to still finish this race. 

I wore my headset at the 24th km because I no longer have the strength to run. It's all good. I was able to run some more after it. 

Seriously, my legs are dead tired in this picture. But I made sure I was smiling on all photo op. :)

This one is an exception though. My legs are dead tired, and I want to have a strong finish, so I ran on my last meters. My face says it all - game.face.on. 

And then I saw someone taking a picture and then waved at me, so I smiled back. I was so happy at the finish line. :)

Finish line moment, I could not believe I finished in under 6 hrs. My legs were not trained for it, but my heart is. :)

Thus, my new profile picture is made. I really am happy seeing the finish line tape. I felt like a super person!

Hihihi.. I finished. :)

Running my first Dream Marathon

"Pain is inevitable,suffering is optional"- Buddhist Proverb

Before the race, I asked our officemate/pacer (for a officemate), Sam, for a marathon advise on the cold chilly morning of Feb 16. He told us that - "You will experience pain along the way, what you have to do is forget it and finish the race". I then remembered the Buddhist proverb that I read from Murakami's What I talk about when I talk about running - Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. I breathed these words in then went to the starting line.

I remembered so well, when I was waiting online for the registration for this race. The slots get filled up so easily, so I waited in front of the computer. I knew that this will change my life, I hoped that somewhere in the finish line is the answer to my self. What do I do with my life? How do I rise from all these bullshit? I think I put myself in it, how do I get out?

6 months later, here I am in this starting line, wherein I ran even in my busy schedule, (4 hrs of commute, tricycle-Fx-MRT-bus-jeep-tricycle then vice versa add up two 200m foot bridges) even after my blue aikido belt, even after I got respiratory track infection due to the chilly January wind, even after receiving my bad performance at work, even after learning with friends leaving for abroad, even after a boy who doesn't know he broke my heart because I always I acted cool with everything that had happened, even after my family felt far because I only get to see them at night and they are busy with their own lives, even after my dog ate every single thing that is important to me and I had to buy them back because I need it, even after all of these bullshit, the training still went on. Now, I have to know whether I can finish this or not. I have to run this.

So 2:00 am came, and all of us went for the run. Me, and some of my Holcim colleagues, Mike, Faye and Sam promised that if we see each other on the road, we will high five each other. This is our way of supporting each other. I plan to first pace with ate Mj (a running friend of mine), whom I thought of running with on the first half. But knowing her (and I don't blame her), she will speed off. Knowing me, I am a sloooow runner. My goal was to finish before 9:00 am, but I wanted to finish earlier, I envisioned the sun wouldn't be so forgiving. I came with a plan on this race really, I wanted to start slow, hydrate every one hour, then, GU (energy gel) after. I also plan on walking every ten km, I do not intend to go for the run-walk strategy since I've learned from previous runs that I am not good at it. I tend to sabotage the whole run by walking the remaining distance. So, I'll just run whenever and wherever I can, then if my legs will hurt, I will still run...or will walk a little.. then run again.

The organizers gave us Enervon Activ E before the race. I read over the internet that it should be taken an hour before the activity. I don't know what came to me and decided to give it a try on the race day itself, I drank one tab before the race. I consumed my first gel on the 3rd kilometer, for energy.I felt high with energy on the first ten kilometers.

See how stupid my pacing is, I ran fast on the first half of the race. Not good. 

The first ten kilometers of the race is mostly composed of uphills, or what most runners call "uphells". It is indeed hellish. At 2nd km, there is this very steep road. Since I already encountered this path before, I planned to walk on this area, I don't want to give more pounding on my legs. I will attack the downhills but not uphills, I will forgive my legs for not really trying. I was able to get to my first half 10mins slower than my 7-11 time (2:28). I was telling myself that it is okay, I will be giving it my all on the second half.

The elevation is actually on the graph below, see the blue lines vs the green ones (my pace)

Or not. My legs started feeling a little wobbly on the 24th km. I felt a little pain on the 16th, but it can be brushed off. The 24th km is when my legs felt like dead weight. I started walking. The cold Laguna wind kept blowing on my face. Good thing I brought with me my ever friendly face towel. I covered my face with it, since got sick because of the cold and I needed to warm myself. I thought of the movie Hunger games while running, because suddenly it drizzled. Then, there were dimly lit areas where your only source of light is the moon. It was creepy, and you have to keep running. Since I am all alone and I resolved to not finish the whole race by walking, I put my headphones on.

'Cause sometimes you just feel tired,
 Feel weak, and when you feel weak, you feel like you wanna just give up.
 But you gotta search within you, you gotta find that inner strength
 And just pull that shit out of you and get that motivation to not give up
 And not be a quitter, no matter how bad you wanna just fall flat on your face and collapse.
- Till I collapse, Eminem

This is the song I kept listening to before the race. This has been my power song. This is Till I collapse by Eminem. The first paragraph is a killer. This was the things I wanted to hear when I put my headphones on. It exactly gave me what I needed to do. I have to pull this shit out of me and not to give up. So I ran again. I thought of the feeling at the 30th km, since I think I have not really experienced the feeling reaching that long.

I ran until the 30th, the 31st, until the 36th, I kept counting how long will I still have to run. I greeted all the people on the other side, (as I am already going back at the starting line) I needed to gather all the energy I have left and not lose hope, and I don't want to see people losing hope as well, so I cheered as I ran. Since there will be photographers along the race course, I resolved also to smile and look good, even though I am feeling hellish, I-have-to-look-good.

I already saw the finish line and started feeling it, but I have to turn right, to run for two more. Upon turning, I almost cried upon seeing the beautiful sky. It was a blessing. It is a good day to finish a marathon. I ran. Then got walked a little, then ran on my last 100 meters.

I was all smiles, upon seeing the words FINISH. I could not contain my happiness so even my leg felt like two logs attached to my body, I ran. I ran like there was no tomorrow, I was aiming for my strong finish. Upon reaching the tape, I roared. Yeah I know, it was unlady-like, but I roared loud, then I heard my name as announced by the emcee - "Abigail Kay Veloso, you are now a Marathoner". I smiled, I know there was no one I get to share this with but when I saw Ate Mj, I hugged her tight. Then shouted the words "We did itt!" it was ecstatic. I can still feel the euphoria up to now.

Was I able to find what I was looking for? I forgot about everything when I reached the finish line. I forgot my bullshit life and everything negative. I was gunning for a sub 7 finish but got a better result by finishing before 8:00am. Yes people, I finished with a time of 5:48 hrs. I was on the upper half, 181 out of 674 runners. Not a bad time for a first time marathoner.

I guess whenever I feel bad, or whenever I feel like giving up. I will always remember that day. That day I finished my first marathon, where everyone is cheering for you to finish, where every runner is not losing hope and kept running.

These are the pros of joining this marathon. It is to give you the best first time experience, and I got it. I loved it, I wanted to run some more marathons after this. I highly recommend this for all first time marathoners. It makes you proudly say, whatever your time is, that "I, Abigail Kay Remerata Veloso, am a Marathoner!"

Woohoo! :)

Credits to Maja Caballero for this picture. Woohoo I have a medal! 

Hours before

Just saw an email from the Bull Runner earlier, and I could not make myself be less scared as I am now. 

I did not do any maintenance runs this week, I was planning to, but got scared of an injury. So might as well rest it all off, I don't know if it's correct or what. 

Oh well, I only have a few hours left. Gotta prepare my things. Ciao!

February reads

Since I already did the training, I have to nourish my mind with some books that I think could ease up the buggers in my head and focus on finishing the marathon next week. 

I know I can finish it. I just needed to believe in myself more to make me finish it stronger. Everyday, I am visualizing myself already eating that breakfast of hotdog, sinangag na kanin (garlic rice) and fried egg (sunny side up) this happens to be my favorite breakfast of all time.

Well, I am already done with Ms Chrissie's book and halfway through Mc Dougall's. Have to feed my mind. Ciao! 

Growing not gone

A week after tonight, I will be on the same bed but not the same person anymore. A week after tonight, I have finished my first marathon.

It's been 6 mos since I signed up for this. I decided to join the TBR batch 2014 for the reason that I wanted to run again. But it gave me something more. 

As I started training, so does my life became blurry. Everything came all at once, I was compelled to be the one of the OIC of our laboratory (with no compensation, no papers or whatsoever), my own work, my due Aikido blue (4th kyuu) belt, and my personal life and sanity hangs in jeopardy.

By December, the long runs started to get longer, the OIC-ship efforts came to haunt me, it was my all time low, I wasn't compensated nor I was recognized since the new manager arrived. I felt like a garbage, I did not feel wanted in the department I was in. Even I was in despair, I kept running, it was the only thing holding my self esteem for myself. I could no longer believe in myself, whatever I did for the department, it wasn't always enough. I wanted to sulk in one corner and cry.

Then January came, the cold city temperature was making me sick after my runs. It was hard to do them, for me at least, since I needed to sweat. It is hard for me to sweat, I'm not a sweaty person by the way. So, I tried gyms for convenience, and I went to work with a jacket. I even went on my longest run with a jacket, I really was sick. Also, my work was becoming demanding, I got a very low 2013 performance grade which struck my confidence again. Up to this day, it still makes me sad. Still, I stuck to my long runs and lessen my aikido practice from twice to once a week. I told my senseis about my plans of joining a marathon and they support me all the way.

Then February came, I heard news from a colleague that I was not shortlisted to a position (this is within the department mind you) that I was applying to. What a smack on my fucking face, another smash on my confidence and I heard this on the month of my marathon. Still, even with this, I still went on my maintenance runs and sunday LSD's.

My training has been a rollercoaster ride of my physical, mental and emotional well being. Physically, I needed to be well in order for me to do the runs. Even with the cold chilly January winds, when I set my mind that I have to run. I will run. That also accounts my mental well being, I have to finish and commit what I started and find ways to be a better runner. By being smart with my food choices, smart with the shoes I use, by knowing my body, how I should nourish myself before an exercise etc. My emotional state, is something I do not have control as of now. It is still on a loose thread. I still cry on thoughts regarding my work and my personal life. And I wish next week, I will feel a lot better for myself.

I know I am better person than who I was when I made the decision to run this marathon. And for me to become even better, I have to leave the things that doesn't really count, especially those things that don't really matter. This is what I realized during this journey. I have to love myself more, I did not work train 4x to 5x a week (including Aikido and other strength exercises) to be just stepped on and be looked down upon. And if something is making me feel bad either I let them or I did not so something to make myself feel a lot better. 

After all of this, I will be a more different person, I look forward to it. I just love the picture above, I feel myself growing in strength even if people or circumstances put me down, I know I can do it.

I will see you all in the finish line of my first ever marathon. ;)

Long Run at Nuvali

Part of the marathon training is having the 30kms long run, so last saturday, June 25, the TBR dream marathon organizers organized the 3hr and 30mins long run. 

The long run is held at Nuvali, Sta. Rosa, Laguna where the actual marathon will be held. Me and my office group friends joined this, so that we can actually try the Nuvali landscape and see what we're about to face on the day of our marathon. 

Me and the Manlosa couple before the run. Yes, I look fresh and I am cold! I wore this jacket all the way through - best decision ever. 

The group run is divided into different groups, depending on the pace they want to do on the day of marathon. There are 4:1, 3:1 (fast), 3:1(slow), 2:1 (fast), 2:1(slow) paces (4:1 means 4mins run and 1min walk). 

I tried first the 4:1 pace, which was quite ambitious on my part because I could not run the fast pace it is 6:30/km at least. Since, I could not keep up, I opted to be left behind. I walked then caught up with the 3:1 (fast group) and they are a bunch of really fast people. I could not keep up again, until I got lost and isolated in the middle of Nuvali. Until the group of 3:1 (slow) caught up with me, I realized that this should be the group I went with in the first place. I was planning to join this group when they were already doing the grouping, I should've listened to my guts. 

My alone moment time where I thought - "Where is everybody?" 

I guess one of the things I realized here is that it's hard for me to keep up with a herd of people and to stick to my own decisions. When I was left alone, these are the things I thought of, I shouldn't have listened to my colleague, I knew he will just leave me behind when I could no longer keep up. Good thing I always know how to be alone and it is not something I am afraid of.

Enjoying the sunrise view at Nuvali

When I could no longer keep up with the 3:1 (slow) group, I walked. I think I only have 3kms left to cover. I was coughing (which was my handicap on this day due to - as indicated by the doctor later during the day - pharyngitis) all the way through.

I could no longer feel the long distance, I wasn't thinking of when it's going to end, it is not something I do not enjoyed doing. I just love it that I could not speed up so that I can enjoy the view and the wind and all. I also cut off my mp3 usage because I was enjoying the whole experience. 

I think with this pace, I can finish this at 7hrs or less, which is okay I think. I wish I can do better but there'll be other marathons. I want this first one to be enjoyable as possible. :) 

So this long run is an experience to remember, this gave me the first taste of my long run, and also how will my first marathon will be. A good "alone" experience, I learned to talk to strangers and enjoy my own company and enjoyed the good Nuvali view. 

Can I say I am ready for my first marathon, a hundred percent yes for that. But, I won't be as fast though. But it is okay. Goal is to finish this first. :) 

Me and a couple of batchmates after the long run. Thanks to Faye for the pictures. 

But of course, time for some pampering for my tired feet. I do not like the salon though, will not return there eveeer. 

Longest run for 2013

Our marathon training program calls for 3:15 hr run this week. Actually, it should be done on the week before this, but knowing me, the forever procrastinator, I planned doing it on a Sunday before the new year.

Since a friend from out of town invited me over, I postponed my previous plan then planned to run on a Monday afternoon. Since I sucked at waking up early and I don't have visors to protect my eyes from the sun, I went around UP Oval at around 4pm. 

I was able to run well for the first 2kms, then I realized that I had to pee, and then when I peed, it felt a little off. It felt like I did not have sufficient water to fuel the whole 3hr run. I tried compensating by drinking another 500ml of Gatorade, but no sir, it did not work. So, I called the whole practice off and went off. Bladder won over me.

Learning from my previous experience, I planned to make a comeback on the next day, Tuesday, Dec 31. The store owner where I leave my things will be there before 1pm. Because of this, I have to make my run in the morning. I bought visors after my defeat and then drank lots and tons of water. 

I came with my cousin, Janjan, and I think I was armed and ready for the three hr and fifteen minutes run. I was scared though, I came in at almost 8am in the morning. Meaning, I will finish around 11am, under the scorching heat. Yes, I was afraid of the heat. But since I had no available time and I wanted to end the year with a blast, I went on.

Good thing, my cousin also have a strong mental stamina. We were able to cover 15kms together at almost 2hrs. Good time, considering he's not into long distance running. 

I went alone after 15kms, and plotted to run on my chill pace (around 8km/hr) on the day of the marathon. The day was perfect for running, it was not too hot (contrary to what I thought it will be), the cold December wind was helping me to push on. I did not even sweat as much. I even ate pancit canton on one of my breaks (Heavy I know! Haha). 

The whole run felt great. I was able to cover 22.4 kms, the longest I've ran so far. This is my way of ending 2013. The whole year wasn't great for me, it offered me different kinds of hardships that were new to me. I admit, as of now, I am not thankful. But I am hoping this 2014, all the lessons will be something I will be smiling about. 

My marathon will be on Feb, and I know things will change this year. I am hopeful everything will be for the best. Cheers everyone! 

Me sporting my skimpy shirt for this run, note that the sun is already up but it wasn't that hot

My cousin, Janjan, who ran with me until the 15th! Strong kid!

Throwback Saturday

I'm sorry I'm not sorry for using the term "Throwback Saturday" for this. I know it's a Saturday and I could've used the term "Flashback Saturday" but I think the first term is cooler so yeah guys, you have to bear with the title. 

What's up with this anyway? I wanted to show you guys where I am coming from. The picture on the left, is me at 76 kgs last 2011. My heaviest would probably be last Dec 2010. See below. 

Yes. Me at 80 kgs (I think) on a friend's wedding. This is me with my effed up weight, self esteem (still is), ovaries, uterus, cholesterol and uric acid count, and many more. Good thing on this though, I was not depressed. I was perfectly content, maybe one of the reasons why I did not bother losing the weight. 

What happened? After my check up, I was advised by the doctor to lose the weight and also I fell in love. 

Falling in love really could mean a lot of things. This inspired me to be more conscious about myself. But getting out of it fueled me to run more. 

I started running with some office friends (see above) then eventually I was already running alone. I ran when I was sad and I needed to clear my head. And then, after days of running, i eventually got over it after my first 21k.

Well after getting over that feat, I thought I did not have anything to run for. Then, I got depressed. Everything in my life failed, if not failing, it is falling apart. I was no longer running and I was afraid to be alone. This is when I decided to run a marathon.

As Emil Zatopek have quoted, "If you want to run, run a mile. If you want a different life, run a marathon". When TBRDream opened it's doors for aspiring marathoners, I signed up right away having this quote in mind. They gave us the training plan and I am depressed, I don't know if I can really finish it or not.

There were days where I am already stressed from work, whete it's already late at night, where I am hungry, where I am feeling the downs, where I am not in the mood but I am pushing on. Mind you, I am not religiously following the training program they gave us. But I am pushing on. I wanted to know at the end of this training, whether what it is like to finish running all 42kms.

At this point of the training, we were required to run more. And I guess, this is the hardest stage, but I have seen some progress. See below, that was taken from  my Nike + Running app. I am in a way, successful in pushing myself. 

This is hard. As I have mentioned there were those days that I am not fueled to run, I am not hopeful about my life. But I know little by little the training has given my soul some hope that someday, everything will be soo much better. And now that I am seeing myself in the mirror, I know there has been an improvement - a thinner me, more dynamic, more accepting, struggling to be stronger and better day by day.  

It's far better than before, and worthy for a Throwback Saturday. So guys, as of now, this is me (see below) at 60 kgs and training for a marathon. 

Credits to Eric de Guzman and John Mateos Ong for some of the photos. 

Running with my Pure Cadence

I bought a pair of shoes last July hoping it will be my TBR marathon shoes, but it felt wrong when I ran. Then decided, I should do practice runs on it and get a new pair.

When I decided to get a new one, I thought of getting an expert's advice and have my gait analysis taken. So, as soon as I got my extra money, I went to Runnr at BGC high street and took my chance on getting my new shoes.

I've already set my eyes on getting a Brooks pair. I have been looking into the Pure project series and saw reviews that it is a good pair. So, after my gait analysis, it was seen that my arch is for Neutral but when I ran, they saw that I needed Stability shoes. 

This is entirely different from what I bought from Singapore, my fuschia pink Adidas. It is for Neutral runners. And it was as advised by our gym instructor. Not that he's wrong, I thought it is the right shoes too. He explained it to me right. When I used my Fuschias it is good on the feet and friendly on my knees. (remember that I've had knee injuries before and I would like to be more careful in my shoe choices)

So, I took this guy's advise and looked at the stability shoe choices. Of course, almost everything is expensive and it was sad spending money on it. But, I was willing to take my chance, this is a marathon after all, and I think I need to really spend in order for me to finish it well. Good thing, Brooks Pure Cadence was on the rack and took it for a spin on their treadmill. 

It feels snuggly and my toes, especially the left one, feels iffy. I might have problems running on it since it's fit is tight on the side. But when I checked, the socks are folded and when I ran again it felt a bit better. I guess it just needs, a little breaking in, in order for me to get used to it.

I bought the shoes and went home. I then thought of using my new shoes in my long run on the next day. I went to UP on a sunday afternoon then road tested Cyan. 

It felt different, I was running without my mp3 to make me feel it more. Since the shoes are for stability running, it felt it was promoting a different run. My legs felt heavy and every step of my feet felt like a big stomp. It feels like it's activating the pain on my ITB (Ilotilial Band). I walked a few times on my first 6kms.

On the 6th, I decided to get my mp3 player so that I can focus on running and drank my gatorade with the GU gel for energy. I was able to run properly, and i did not feel any pain from there on. I was able to focus on running straight, but my feet are still not used to it, and I am still not running I am supposed to with it. 

I was able to finish at around 13.2kms at 1hr and 49 mins. Not a bad run, I think. I was planning to run at an average of 8:00 mins/kms. I guess I just need to get used to it, or I will use Fuschia in my marathon.

Decisions, decisions, decisions. Geez. 

PS: if I spelled Fuschia wrong, forgive me. Heehee

First look at my Pure Cadence

Fuschia Pinkie Adidas on its first run