My Marathon Journey (thru pictures)

Okay. Since there are lots of pictures on the TBR event, I am happy to utilize these photos from Photoops.ph. And also to remember everything that has happened on one of my favorite days of my life. :)

Credits to the photographers, Photoops and other sites where I have taken this picture. Sorry I wasn't able to remember all. 

My first kms, were composed of me and Ate Mj running side by side. But I'm too slow, so she went ahead. :)

And then there was this moment where it was cold and it started to drizzle, I tried making myself warm by wearing my facetowel on my face. (Best-decision-ever)

I ran out of GU so I took the last one on the last station before this picture. I am happily eating it, because it gives me lots of energy to still finish this race. 

I wore my headset at the 24th km because I no longer have the strength to run. It's all good. I was able to run some more after it. 

Seriously, my legs are dead tired in this picture. But I made sure I was smiling on all photo op. :)

This one is an exception though. My legs are dead tired, and I want to have a strong finish, so I ran on my last meters. My face says it all - game.face.on. 

And then I saw someone taking a picture and then waved at me, so I smiled back. I was so happy at the finish line. :)

Finish line moment, I could not believe I finished in under 6 hrs. My legs were not trained for it, but my heart is. :)

Thus, my new profile picture is made. I really am happy seeing the finish line tape. I felt like a super person!

Hihihi.. I finished. :)

Running my first Dream Marathon

"Pain is inevitable,suffering is optional"- Buddhist Proverb

Before the race, I asked our officemate/pacer (for a officemate), Sam, for a marathon advise on the cold chilly morning of Feb 16. He told us that - "You will experience pain along the way, what you have to do is forget it and finish the race". I then remembered the Buddhist proverb that I read from Murakami's What I talk about when I talk about running - Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. I breathed these words in then went to the starting line.

I remembered so well, when I was waiting online for the registration for this race. The slots get filled up so easily, so I waited in front of the computer. I knew that this will change my life, I hoped that somewhere in the finish line is the answer to my self. What do I do with my life? How do I rise from all these bullshit? I think I put myself in it, how do I get out?

6 months later, here I am in this starting line, wherein I ran even in my busy schedule, (4 hrs of commute, tricycle-Fx-MRT-bus-jeep-tricycle then vice versa add up two 200m foot bridges) even after my blue aikido belt, even after I got respiratory track infection due to the chilly January wind, even after receiving my bad performance at work, even after learning with friends leaving for abroad, even after a boy who doesn't know he broke my heart because I always I acted cool with everything that had happened, even after my family felt far because I only get to see them at night and they are busy with their own lives, even after my dog ate every single thing that is important to me and I had to buy them back because I need it, even after all of these bullshit, the training still went on. Now, I have to know whether I can finish this or not. I have to run this.

So 2:00 am came, and all of us went for the run. Me, and some of my Holcim colleagues, Mike, Faye and Sam promised that if we see each other on the road, we will high five each other. This is our way of supporting each other. I plan to first pace with ate Mj (a running friend of mine), whom I thought of running with on the first half. But knowing her (and I don't blame her), she will speed off. Knowing me, I am a sloooow runner. My goal was to finish before 9:00 am, but I wanted to finish earlier, I envisioned the sun wouldn't be so forgiving. I came with a plan on this race really, I wanted to start slow, hydrate every one hour, then, GU (energy gel) after. I also plan on walking every ten km, I do not intend to go for the run-walk strategy since I've learned from previous runs that I am not good at it. I tend to sabotage the whole run by walking the remaining distance. So, I'll just run whenever and wherever I can, then if my legs will hurt, I will still run...or will walk a little.. then run again.

The organizers gave us Enervon Activ E before the race. I read over the internet that it should be taken an hour before the activity. I don't know what came to me and decided to give it a try on the race day itself, I drank one tab before the race. I consumed my first gel on the 3rd kilometer, for energy.I felt high with energy on the first ten kilometers.

See how stupid my pacing is, I ran fast on the first half of the race. Not good. 

The first ten kilometers of the race is mostly composed of uphills, or what most runners call "uphells". It is indeed hellish. At 2nd km, there is this very steep road. Since I already encountered this path before, I planned to walk on this area, I don't want to give more pounding on my legs. I will attack the downhills but not uphills, I will forgive my legs for not really trying. I was able to get to my first half 10mins slower than my 7-11 time (2:28). I was telling myself that it is okay, I will be giving it my all on the second half.

The elevation is actually on the graph below, see the blue lines vs the green ones (my pace)

Or not. My legs started feeling a little wobbly on the 24th km. I felt a little pain on the 16th, but it can be brushed off. The 24th km is when my legs felt like dead weight. I started walking. The cold Laguna wind kept blowing on my face. Good thing I brought with me my ever friendly face towel. I covered my face with it, since got sick because of the cold and I needed to warm myself. I thought of the movie Hunger games while running, because suddenly it drizzled. Then, there were dimly lit areas where your only source of light is the moon. It was creepy, and you have to keep running. Since I am all alone and I resolved to not finish the whole race by walking, I put my headphones on.

'Cause sometimes you just feel tired,
 Feel weak, and when you feel weak, you feel like you wanna just give up.
 But you gotta search within you, you gotta find that inner strength
 And just pull that shit out of you and get that motivation to not give up
 And not be a quitter, no matter how bad you wanna just fall flat on your face and collapse.
- Till I collapse, Eminem

This is the song I kept listening to before the race. This has been my power song. This is Till I collapse by Eminem. The first paragraph is a killer. This was the things I wanted to hear when I put my headphones on. It exactly gave me what I needed to do. I have to pull this shit out of me and not to give up. So I ran again. I thought of the feeling at the 30th km, since I think I have not really experienced the feeling reaching that long.

I ran until the 30th, the 31st, until the 36th, I kept counting how long will I still have to run. I greeted all the people on the other side, (as I am already going back at the starting line) I needed to gather all the energy I have left and not lose hope, and I don't want to see people losing hope as well, so I cheered as I ran. Since there will be photographers along the race course, I resolved also to smile and look good, even though I am feeling hellish, I-have-to-look-good.

I already saw the finish line and started feeling it, but I have to turn right, to run for two more. Upon turning, I almost cried upon seeing the beautiful sky. It was a blessing. It is a good day to finish a marathon. I ran. Then got walked a little, then ran on my last 100 meters.

I was all smiles, upon seeing the words FINISH. I could not contain my happiness so even my leg felt like two logs attached to my body, I ran. I ran like there was no tomorrow, I was aiming for my strong finish. Upon reaching the tape, I roared. Yeah I know, it was unlady-like, but I roared loud, then I heard my name as announced by the emcee - "Abigail Kay Veloso, you are now a Marathoner". I smiled, I know there was no one I get to share this with but when I saw Ate Mj, I hugged her tight. Then shouted the words "We did itt!" it was ecstatic. I can still feel the euphoria up to now.

Was I able to find what I was looking for? I forgot about everything when I reached the finish line. I forgot my bullshit life and everything negative. I was gunning for a sub 7 finish but got a better result by finishing before 8:00am. Yes people, I finished with a time of 5:48 hrs. I was on the upper half, 181 out of 674 runners. Not a bad time for a first time marathoner.

I guess whenever I feel bad, or whenever I feel like giving up. I will always remember that day. That day I finished my first marathon, where everyone is cheering for you to finish, where every runner is not losing hope and kept running.

These are the pros of joining this marathon. It is to give you the best first time experience, and I got it. I loved it, I wanted to run some more marathons after this. I highly recommend this for all first time marathoners. It makes you proudly say, whatever your time is, that "I, Abigail Kay Remerata Veloso, am a Marathoner!"

Woohoo! :)

Credits to Maja Caballero for this picture. Woohoo I have a medal! 

Hours before

Just saw an email from the Bull Runner earlier, and I could not make myself be less scared as I am now. 

I did not do any maintenance runs this week, I was planning to, but got scared of an injury. So might as well rest it all off, I don't know if it's correct or what. 

Oh well, I only have a few hours left. Gotta prepare my things. Ciao!

February reads

Since I already did the training, I have to nourish my mind with some books that I think could ease up the buggers in my head and focus on finishing the marathon next week. 

I know I can finish it. I just needed to believe in myself more to make me finish it stronger. Everyday, I am visualizing myself already eating that breakfast of hotdog, sinangag na kanin (garlic rice) and fried egg (sunny side up) this happens to be my favorite breakfast of all time.

Well, I am already done with Ms Chrissie's book and halfway through Mc Dougall's. Have to feed my mind. Ciao! 

Growing not gone

A week after tonight, I will be on the same bed but not the same person anymore. A week after tonight, I have finished my first marathon.

It's been 6 mos since I signed up for this. I decided to join the TBR batch 2014 for the reason that I wanted to run again. But it gave me something more. 

As I started training, so does my life became blurry. Everything came all at once, I was compelled to be the one of the OIC of our laboratory (with no compensation, no papers or whatsoever), my own work, my due Aikido blue (4th kyuu) belt, and my personal life and sanity hangs in jeopardy.

By December, the long runs started to get longer, the OIC-ship efforts came to haunt me, it was my all time low, I wasn't compensated nor I was recognized since the new manager arrived. I felt like a garbage, I did not feel wanted in the department I was in. Even I was in despair, I kept running, it was the only thing holding my self esteem for myself. I could no longer believe in myself, whatever I did for the department, it wasn't always enough. I wanted to sulk in one corner and cry.

Then January came, the cold city temperature was making me sick after my runs. It was hard to do them, for me at least, since I needed to sweat. It is hard for me to sweat, I'm not a sweaty person by the way. So, I tried gyms for convenience, and I went to work with a jacket. I even went on my longest run with a jacket, I really was sick. Also, my work was becoming demanding, I got a very low 2013 performance grade which struck my confidence again. Up to this day, it still makes me sad. Still, I stuck to my long runs and lessen my aikido practice from twice to once a week. I told my senseis about my plans of joining a marathon and they support me all the way.

Then February came, I heard news from a colleague that I was not shortlisted to a position (this is within the department mind you) that I was applying to. What a smack on my fucking face, another smash on my confidence and I heard this on the month of my marathon. Still, even with this, I still went on my maintenance runs and sunday LSD's.

My training has been a rollercoaster ride of my physical, mental and emotional well being. Physically, I needed to be well in order for me to do the runs. Even with the cold chilly January winds, when I set my mind that I have to run. I will run. That also accounts my mental well being, I have to finish and commit what I started and find ways to be a better runner. By being smart with my food choices, smart with the shoes I use, by knowing my body, how I should nourish myself before an exercise etc. My emotional state, is something I do not have control as of now. It is still on a loose thread. I still cry on thoughts regarding my work and my personal life. And I wish next week, I will feel a lot better for myself.

I know I am better person than who I was when I made the decision to run this marathon. And for me to become even better, I have to leave the things that doesn't really count, especially those things that don't really matter. This is what I realized during this journey. I have to love myself more, I did not work train 4x to 5x a week (including Aikido and other strength exercises) to be just stepped on and be looked down upon. And if something is making me feel bad either I let them or I did not so something to make myself feel a lot better. 

After all of this, I will be a more different person, I look forward to it. I just love the picture above, I feel myself growing in strength even if people or circumstances put me down, I know I can do it.

I will see you all in the finish line of my first ever marathon. ;)