Throwback Saturday

I'm sorry I'm not sorry for using the term "Throwback Saturday" for this. I know it's a Saturday and I could've used the term "Flashback Saturday" but I think the first term is cooler so yeah guys, you have to bear with the title. 

What's up with this anyway? I wanted to show you guys where I am coming from. The picture on the left, is me at 76 kgs last 2011. My heaviest would probably be last Dec 2010. See below. 

Yes. Me at 80 kgs (I think) on a friend's wedding. This is me with my effed up weight, self esteem (still is), ovaries, uterus, cholesterol and uric acid count, and many more. Good thing on this though, I was not depressed. I was perfectly content, maybe one of the reasons why I did not bother losing the weight. 

What happened? After my check up, I was advised by the doctor to lose the weight and also I fell in love. 

Falling in love really could mean a lot of things. This inspired me to be more conscious about myself. But getting out of it fueled me to run more. 

I started running with some office friends (see above) then eventually I was already running alone. I ran when I was sad and I needed to clear my head. And then, after days of running, i eventually got over it after my first 21k.

Well after getting over that feat, I thought I did not have anything to run for. Then, I got depressed. Everything in my life failed, if not failing, it is falling apart. I was no longer running and I was afraid to be alone. This is when I decided to run a marathon.

As Emil Zatopek have quoted, "If you want to run, run a mile. If you want a different life, run a marathon". When TBRDream opened it's doors for aspiring marathoners, I signed up right away having this quote in mind. They gave us the training plan and I am depressed, I don't know if I can really finish it or not.

There were days where I am already stressed from work, whete it's already late at night, where I am hungry, where I am feeling the downs, where I am not in the mood but I am pushing on. Mind you, I am not religiously following the training program they gave us. But I am pushing on. I wanted to know at the end of this training, whether what it is like to finish running all 42kms.

At this point of the training, we were required to run more. And I guess, this is the hardest stage, but I have seen some progress. See below, that was taken from  my Nike + Running app. I am in a way, successful in pushing myself. 

This is hard. As I have mentioned there were those days that I am not fueled to run, I am not hopeful about my life. But I know little by little the training has given my soul some hope that someday, everything will be soo much better. And now that I am seeing myself in the mirror, I know there has been an improvement - a thinner me, more dynamic, more accepting, struggling to be stronger and better day by day.  

It's far better than before, and worthy for a Throwback Saturday. So guys, as of now, this is me (see below) at 60 kgs and training for a marathon. 

Credits to Eric de Guzman and John Mateos Ong for some of the photos.